Monster Mom

Just in case the previous entries should give you the

impression that my life is without struggle

I thought I'd share a rather not so pretty moment.

 

This happened just before Halloween weekend and

it seems to have come in a timely fashion.

Monster Mom visited our home.

As usual, she came unannounced and in a hurry.

Situations that have increased her visitation are such as:

having to repeat herself numerous times before being acknowledged,

giving the same instructions over and over again,

and watching an offspring ignore another offspring after saying the

same sentence six times in a row.

Oh yeah, one more tiny thing, 

simply being pregnant for a fifth time.

Lest you think the grass is greener on this side of the fence

please allow me to explain that either

you've been watering my grass too often,

or you haven't yet noticed that it is actually astroturf.

I had been preparing to leave for a much needed weekend 

away from home for the previous two days.  Doing things like

laundry, packing, switching clothes over for the kids for the

upcoming October snowstorm, and preparing meals 

in advance for my family during my leave

had me more than busy.

 

The evening came and Caleb wasn't heeding a sister's advice.

I blew up. 

I must confess that it simply felt good at the moment.

I yelled, loud and often and scared my children, shockingly,

not Caleb, he was not moved.  But my sensitive Kylie

was in tears.  A remorse like no other.

It's hard to describe, but there was an aftershock that washed over me.

When done, I saw the sad realization, I was an

uncontrolled mother that I do not want to be or model to my children.

I asked forgiveness, gave hugs, and tucked them into bed.

This unfortunately was the last few minutes before they 

said goodbye to me for four days.

This morning I had some much needed time with the Lord.

I was able to spend hours reading and evaluating,

looking at my life and how I handle obstacles.

Looking at my place and seeing (once again) 

that the work God has for me is mostly with my children,

was humbling.

Being the main "Jesus" that they see daily is no small task.

Being a mother is no small task either, it's one of the hardest

things I've ever done.

Truth is, I have a choice in each situation.

I can look for God working and choose to find joy and be thankful

or I can be selfish and drive others away from both God and myself.

It was the Holy Spirit teaching me today and I'm

so glad I didn't miss his message.

I do pray He gently reminds me of this morsel again shortly

when I need to put it into practice with some 

adorable little ones I've been entrusted with for the time being.

Favorite thing

A generous, hands on husband, and father of four

who allowed me time away with a good friend.

And also, a Heavenly Father who is more patient with 

me than I could ever deserve or imagine.