Prepare yourself,
this is very raw.
So I found myself crying during worship this morning.
This came out of a very lonely spot.
In case you did not know, I am very much a people person.
Ever since I can imagine
I have looked up to someone
(as most of us do).
During my twenties I realized
that if I didn't ask someone to "mentor" me
it simply was not going to happen.
Since then I have asked many a
woman who loves the Lord,
and seeks to please Christ
in her words and deed
to be a mentor in my life.
I have come away with sad realities during this journey.
A great mentor is a rare find.
There are two main reasons for this.
The first is simple.
It isn't easy to live out the truth that
God gives us, and the other is
time.
If I find someone who I "click" with they are awesome.
So awesome in fact, that many people desire their attention.
So much attention is on many things that they are great at,
that they most likely do not have time for mentoring.
Life on life.
I find that this is the way I learn best.
I need someone who has time to do life with me.
I do not want a Bible study, a book study,
or any study for that matter.
But could you please walk with me,
tell me of the places you've been that seem similar,
and speak truth to me?
That is my heart's desire.
I suppose that would be a heart study.
Here is my dear neighbor, Kim.
We moms stick together and mentor one another.
Kim and I have discussed this and it has caused
me to look at these relationships in a different way.
I love that Kim is just a few steps ahead of me
in the experience category as her children are all
just a bit older than mine.
I spoke with a woman this morning at church
who spoke highly of another woman
who she looks to as a mentor.
And as I stood there singing during the service
the tears flowed.
Oh how I long to be loved that way.
There is a certain comfort from another woman
who has "been there and done that"
and that is what I am missing right now.
Recently I have tried to tell myself and Mat has
said it to me as well, that I am a mentor.
I know this and thoroughly enjoy doing it.
However, I still miss my mentors.
It is like when I went to the summer camp I grew up attending
as a counselor. The entire week I was looking for
my counselor to keep me on task, remind me
of what comes next, and to have the right words to say.
This is how I do life now.
This is my world, my office, if you will.
The kitchen.
I love having Allie living with us, I love
having time for her.
Don't get me wrong, I love having time for anyone
who walks in the door, especially if that means
stopping a household chore.
My most recent woman I look up to is Nancy.
This woman is a delight to my soul,
and she loves me very well.
Nancy has moved away and is no longer "just around the corner."
Thankfully she is just a phone call away though.
I have come to be very grateful over the past
few years for God's generosity in allowing
me these relationships.
He never demands himself to be my only friend.
He pursues me and patiently loves me as I
look for Him in the lives of others.
He is my ultimate mentor,
always readily available,
generous with His time,
and loves like no other.
It is my desire to be available to mentor other women
whenever such a relationship is desired.
From my perspective there is a need for this
and I always want to have the "time"
to do so.
Favorite thing
Hearing my Kylie call me "Mamma"
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